Saturday, March 10, 2007

realizations

So I have really been thinking a lot about myself lately. (that sounds really strange...)

I have a few things I really want to work on when it comes to who I am.

1. I am very insecure and because of that I make bad decisions. I am not confident in myself at all. I used to hide behind obnoxious behavior, or really crazy clothes..and now that I don't have either of those (for the most part), I really don't know who I am feel happy about who I am.

2. I care way too much about what other people think about me. That is the main cause of my insecurities, I am sure. I am always worried about what people are saying about me behind my back, or why is that person starring at me...It's awful and I am flat out sick of it.

3. I don't know how to make myself happy. and right now I don't have time to! I know what I enjoy doing...cooking, canning, gardening, crafts, knitting, trying new things...but when do I have the time to do those things? I focus so much on making sure people think I am ok that I don't even know what my purpose is anymore!

4. I am always putting my relationship with God last. Sure there are times when I am really focused and making a good effort, but not enough. I know that just being close to Him would really help me with these insecurities...it always does.


Anyway, I am really really going work on liking who I am, not doing things just to please other people, and really enjoying this life that I have. I am so tired of failing to please other people...the least I can do is enjoy who I am a little!

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